Pictures In The Mind

I have been practising using words that give readers pictures in their minds.

On Tuesday, the whole school competed in Athletics Day. Everyone was ready to give it their best shot that day.

The first event we did was high jump. I was as nervous as a fly trapped in a spider’s web when we walked to high jump. I was the second to last one in line.

First of all, we all had a practice jump. I scissor-kicked over the bar onto the warm plastic high jump mat that was on the other side. Everyone else also made it over. The mat looked like our blue mattress, except it was a bit harder. It was the real thing now.

We all made the first jump, but, on the next jump, Jahnyva knocked down the pole with her leg, but that did not really matter because she got another go and she made it over.

On the third jump, Paige, Emily W and I made it  over but Jahnyva knocked down the pole again. She was the first one out of the competition.

The next person to get out of the competition was Emily. It was just Paige and me left. Who was going to win? Paige and I jumped over and over the bar as neatly as ballerinas. At last, Paige knocked the pole down.

I meditated to calm myself down. It was now my turn again. I ran at top speed up to the pole and jumped right over it. Paige tried again and made it over, then Karla put it a bit higher. Paige did not make it over on the next jump and she did not make it over again. I had won. YAY! I got to jump over and over again. I can jump 97 cm, Paige can jump 83cm, Emily can jump 75cm and I do not know how high Jahnyva can jump.

Well done, Emily. You have used words which give me lots of pictures in my mind - Feeling like a fly trapped in a spider's web let me know how nervous you were. I can see you running at top speed to the pole, and I can see the pole being lifted higher and higher. I can feel your joy at winning. I can't see the mat though. You need to describe it for me, instead of telling me it was like our blue one. We don't all know what the blue one looks like.